I haven’t had time to write much this week, just some notes and the beginning concept for another piece that is thus far planned for the distant future. It always disappoints me when I don’t get the chance to write, and before you even think it, I definitely don’t want to hear, “But you need to make time to write” because frankly, sometimes there literally is nothing in my schedule that I can push around. That’s the way it works for everyone at times, and unfortunately, I’m also a person who needs a decent amount of sleep to (a) not get sick and (b) not fall asleep while driving places.
In conclusion: I don’t always have the ability to make time to write (this does not affect Locke and Keye‘s publication date). While I know that’s the case, I still become a weepy willow when I haven’t written in a little while, especially when I’ve promised myself I would and when I’ve been looking forward to it. I become demotivated and easily lose the need, the urgency to write. That need is crucial. It’s what forces scenes out of me when I’m not confident in them (an integral and vital part of my writing process). This weekend I’m going to have to put aside some time and just type, type type, whether it’s notes, informal dialogues, or actual scenes. I have to get my excitement back.
It’s a funny thing with creativity. It is always there, but if you have to push it away a few times in favor of taking care of other necessary things, its flow recedes far too quickly for my taste. I want it to always be there, even when I don’t have time for it. As crazy making as that feeling is, I love it. I think that means I’ll need to force myself to at least write a paragraph every day so I don’t lose my motivation ever again for the reason of lack of time. In the meantime, I’ll need a good binge write this weekend.